3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
