we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
