i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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