Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
