oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
