Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
