i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
