I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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