OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
that is very illegal...i love you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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