i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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