How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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