Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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