Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
