I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
