Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
