Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
