Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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