Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
