well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
