I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
one might say we're banned from that church
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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