do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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