did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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