I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
