can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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