Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
