I just threw up on my dentist
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
