It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
