i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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