Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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