found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize