he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
