Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
