You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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