I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
