I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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