i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
