Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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