Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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