he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
