Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
