Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
