i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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