why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
