You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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