WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is Oprah even human
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
