Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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