another moral hangover. fuck.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
