you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
