i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
