I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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