Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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