Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
