Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
